Hollywood’s Hideo

Here’s a question: What would Hideo be like if Hollywood took a stab at it?  The music would fade into the background.  The fight scenes would no doubt be longer.  Depending on which writer and director took the helm, it could turn into an explosion fest or a touchy-feely tear-jerker, or other things with hyphens.

But what of the cast?  Fellow Team Hideo members and I are non-existent names in Hollywood.   Whatever studio tackles this project will no doubt want to make as much money as possible, so they’re going to throw in as many popular actors as they can get.  Oh, I’m sure we’d have cameos in the bar.  Maybe.  Who then would be chosen to take up our characters?  Hopefully, the following:


Rebecca – Olivia Wilde (Tron: Legacy Hairstyle)

I hear House may be off the air after next season.  Sad news for House fans, but good news for Hideo: The Summer Tent Pole as once again, Olivia Wilde will be available to make a movie.  Wasn’t that Tron: Legacy haircut/wig/whatever cute?  I thought so.  She should use it again.  It gives her a sweet but naive look that works for the character.


Traveler – Peter Sarsgaard

This guy is a great actor, and is particularly good at conveying slow burn intensity.  He also has the ability to project the idea that something about him is subtly off-kilter.  Imagine trying to convince someone like that to share a dark secret with you.  Wouldn’t be easy, making Rebecca all the cooler for succeeding.



Satoshi – Michael Chiklis

If you’ve seen The Shield, then you know how good Michael Chiklis is at being a badass.  When he glares at someone, I’m pretty sure it makes that person die a little inside.  On top of that, his physicality is pretty much perfect for the role.




Reina – Gong Li

After Raise the Red Lantern earned her an Oscar nomination, Gong Li showed up in a few more American films, but most of her film work is based in China.  She’s lovely and talented and has an innate toughness that is at the center of Reina’s character.  Plus, I think she would have really interesting chemistry with the actor playing Hideo.



The Boss – Zach Galifianakis

Zach Galifianakis is one of the most popular comedians in Hollywood right now.  Don’t be surprised if The Hangover 2 spawns at least one more movie.  What’s great about Galifianakis is he can be subtler than many people think.  Even with the Boss’s small role in the story, he is guaranteed to steal the show whenever he is on screen.  And he would look cool with an eye patch.



Hideo – Chris Pine

There are some similarities between the young Captain Kirk Pine portrayed in 2009 and our young hero Hideo.  Brashness, insane heroics, a tendency to bite off more than he can chew are key aspects of both.  Chris Pine is just getting started at the whole Hollywood star thing, but is already the main character in two big-budget reboots (Kirk being one and Jack Ryan, previously portrayed by Alec Baldwin, Harrison Ford, and Ben Affleck being the other).  Hollywood likes him, so look for him to anchor other blockbusters in the days ahead.


One Comment

  1. avatar
    MeDoo says:

    Funny if you are under 15 mentally. Zach G. is the new Tom Green (see how qklcuiy you forget – hint Drew Barrymore ex-husband) and we will never go see another movie he is in. Painful – only ones laughing were middle schoolers who snuck in plus depictions of animal abuse are not funny.

Leave a Comment